[jay`s top 3 gifts got]

(i didn`t want anything this year, but hey, im not one to waste)
1. g.i. joe navajo code talker
- indirect gift via cash
- a 12-inch action figure (not a dildo, mind you) that is an ethnic minority (i declare a new collection - if anyone can find them: gi. joe japanese kamikaze solider and northern vietnamese regular from ultimate soldier would certainly be nice for future gift referencing. but if you really wanna knock my socks off, the rare philippine soldier from the `battle of bata`an` would just be supreme elation for me (note me for fedex info).
- it can say 7 different phrases in navajo and english tongue
- the navajo natives assisted the u.s. army in WWII to help transmit secret coding by radio to other nearby forces. even the whiteman needs the help of the redskinned man sometimes yanno.
2. 2 insane, crazy books, that i have most certainly fallen in lust with
- direct gift; well thought out and well shopped around for
- very rare
(a)move the crowd: voices and faces of the hip hop nation - gregor anddimitri ehrlich
- famous quotes fromthe pioneers and innovators of hip hop
- cop it now
(b)ego trip`s book of rap lists
- an assortment of hip hop lists compiled together in one big-ass, bad, dope, super fresh &phat book about hip hop - from "kool dj red alert`sessential old skool round up" to "10 reasons why rap will never die"
- made merealize, and quote me if you will, that "there are so many books to purchase yet so few coffee tables to place them on"
3. spike jonze dvd
- indirect gift via hmv gift certificate
- a collection ofspike`s directions and short films - could i ask for more?
- you might be familiar with the videos "drop" by the pharcyde, "weapon of choice" by fatboy slim, weezer`s "buddy holly" and film, "being john malkovich" (plus much much more bout 4 hours worth)
- not quite the crown jewel of my dvd collection but hey, i`d call it the king`s gold tooth - so it`s up there.

[pensively twenty-o-three]
well i take every year as a chapter outta life`s textbook. so we`re at the end of the year or maybe even in the new year, depending on when youre reading this. let`s review then think about where we can apply the concepts. dont worry, all answers are correct ones.
so what`s been learned? well for one thing, i dunno if it was the yoga or the tai chi but im feelin more balanced. im so grounded and better at calming myself nowadays. some might think, "jay`s a pretty laid back guy..if he calms down anymore, he`ll probably be clinically dead". and that might be the case but hey, all i can say is i`ve grown to be more calm in the past year. what else? let`s see....i`ve learned to appreciate simplicity a little more. that could be a sure sign of aging. i mean aside from my love of high-end european sports cars, i can say honestly, that i enjoy the very simple things. it can be a simple meal like a hamburger done really good or a girl with no make up prancing around town with her wind in the air, wearing a nice summerdress..yea..things like that, na`mean? any of that hocus pocus, flashing lights and fireworks crap just doesnt do it for me like it used to. what else? what else??? checked one of life`s personal pinnacles on jay`s list - that is copping my driver`s licence (finally)..and man oh man whatta great feeling and helpful use that was. now i can drive around anywhere as much as i want to. i can drive with a beer in my system.but i wont..i can weavethrough traffic, i can hit small animals or even big ones for that matter. but yea...i copped my licence. now, oncemy brother gets his own car...the jaypreza is mine, baby,..all mine!! these past weeks ive learned endurance. im not even talking about running a marathon or holding 25 kilo ax handles with my arms stretched out to the sides like they do in the world`s strongest man competition...yes folks, i stayed up for 40 hours straight without a wink of sleep. all for what? for studying of course. it`s like my friend in waterloo says..its almost his motto..."all this studying just to fail"...hahahah. believe me kids, id say 1st and 3rd are the hardest years of university. but then again, i haven`t even had a 4th year out-of-body whoopi-golberg-experience-like-in-ghost - so am i really correct in making that statement? who knows. all i know is they don`t give degrees and diplomas outta cereal boxes. earn yours, you snot-noses. in relation to skool, a big achievement was my brother claiming his ground in this world and finally completing his studies in electrical engineering. he has this magical ring that all engineers get. he has a degree now. hes a professional but thats not the point. his diploma over the mantle of our fireplace reminds me everyday that it is possible. it really is. there`s so much more to talk about, but really, i hate getting all personal on this...let`s move on to more (self-proclaimed) astonishing things to read, shall we?....before we go, summer was good, winter is good, fall was nice and spring was great. thanks to everyone who was taught and who taught.


"dont make me hit you, you big turd-of-a-manatee. dont make me hit you!i have goodyear tires. dont make mehit you! i have my licence, ill hit you!"


moving along....



[my fortune cookie always said: you`re an asian man in a white man`s world...good luck you hopeless dogeatingbastard]
[12.30.03]
asians in the media? i never thought asians could be in the media. i only thought they worked in the factories that make the cameras and other equipment that facilitate the media`s presentations. never in my wildest dreams would i think they`d be glorified on film.
and boy, am i right!!!
(gotta love those wild, untameable dreams that are never imagineable, eh?)
our roles suck-ass. let`s take the last samurai..no im not over examining the movie but really, a white samurai? before i get into this, please study your history books, kids. please turn to feudal japan and the edo period before you oversaturate my notebox with messages stating how stupid and racist i am. im not. i love whitey...dont get me wrong. im just vexed how mr. and mrs. yellow are represented - IN THEIR OWN ROLES! i should`ve used NOT represented as my word of choice right there..oops. but anyways, a white samurai..saving all the helpless japanese people. thank you, mr. last man standing over all the imcompetent, helpless asians. thank you, my saviour. it wouldn`t be possible otherwise.
give me a break! before you feed me this crap, i`d like to see jason scott lee in some better roles. heck for every 1 stupid depiction of asian culture in american cinema, we should see 5 asian cowboys.
an american ninja..remember that??? if youre gonna give me an american ninja, then give me an asian astronaut, asian heart-throb and asian war hero to counterbalance the effects of all the previous movies and mediums upto date in which asians were falisfied.

think of how stupid that is. let`s flip it too...what if you saw josh hartnett in boyz n the hood in place of ice cube?
excuse my swahili, but that`d be fucking absurd!

what`s the difference with mr. days of thunder wielding a thundering ginsu?



breathe. meditate on that notion and reread if you must.
after that...go make yourself some ramen and inhale the vapours eminating from your sexy styrofoam bowl of dehydrated noodles - high in sodium.
don`t let the chili burn you, now.