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i'm jettin' i'm jettin
i'm jettin' uptown
i'm jettin' downtown
i'm jettin' crosstown
i'm jettin' all around

____________________


song of the final post: "travelling man" by mos def

my beloved readers,

you put me on top of the world.
this blog ended on the 35, 561st hit and 661 posts strong.
i was going to write an in-depth "about me" section in closing but i had a change of heart. that's kind of corny and just not fitting for "gotmilkfart?". this blog was never too personal - i only let you pry into my life so much. rather, gotmilkfart? acted as an outlet for me to vent, criticize and just muse about basically anything that crossed my mind.

the old show romper room used to have a portion of their show dedicated to viewers where the host would look through a looking glass and name the names of kids watching. every time i tuned in, i wished she would say my name but jason just never seemed to pop up. go figure - my parents probably never even knew the mailing address of the studio. it is with this opportunity, i'd like to give shouts and love to my readers. if only i had a looking glass i'd pick up the pieces for you where romper room left off. with that said, i'd like to give shouts to some of my readers (at least those who have made themselves known):

colin, abs, rj, dee, roz (babyphat), jen (blondie), toni, mike (yellow cow), grace, james, gulaman girl, kendomaster, kevzster, onigiriman, kuya gimik, mos def master, marianne, mark, jps, jay kao, anyone from aa, peeps from rb journals, local & worldwide readers and silent readers...
i see you.

for your eyes and your time; for your nosiness and your loyalty; for your comments and criticisms, i thank you all. you are appreciated.

here's to good luck, victory and health in the new year and beyond.
God bless.
i'll be around.

jay "milkfart"
xoxo8===Dxoxo

ice cube has a song called "it was a good day". in his song, cube shares his idea of a perfect day - he doesn't have the po-po (police) sweating him, he gets to lay his highschool crush, he gets a triple double during a game of pick up basketball and he even gets a breakfast with no swine. at the end, he realizes that he's dreaming because no day could possibly exude perfection like the one he dreamed about.

today was the opposite for me.

earlier, i said i was gonna tie a windsor around my neck (see earlier post today)...however, i couldn't find the tie i wanted to wear. this factor plus the fact that my dad was forcing me to get dressed and leave (he was my driver today) - had my ass arrive to work tieless.

let's begin here...

(1) i get to work, and my new manager starts riding my ass about how i have no tie on. he even suggests that i buy a tie. even with my discount in the store - a silk tie costs a pretty penny. fuck that, i refused to buy a tie and that was that. it just didnt make sense. true, it's part of the uniform but it was a small infraction. it's not like i didnt wear pants to work - LET IT SLIDE, MAN!

(2) a customer comes to the register to return her shit. she was seeking a FULL refund. we could not give her this full refund. it's corporate policy. she was pointing her finger at me and violently waving her arms and moving her neck like how those girls on playgrounds in harlem do. she came up to me and said i never told her the policy of the company when i was helping her out a few weeks ago. that's a gatdamn lie but i gave her the benefit of the doubt. "lady, let's say i didn't tell you the policy...it says here [pointing to the back of her receipt] and here [pointing to big signage of policy at cash desk] that you have 14 days for an exchange or in store credit on sale or promotiional items".
lady says "but who reads that?".

fuck! i dunno who reads that! obviously (and i really wanted to tell her), she doesn't read it! i can't assume that nobody reads those policies. if every company did that, then all major retailers would be broke due to constantly having people return shit (no questions asked); it's just not smart. and for the record, i DO tell each and every customer our policy. after all, i work on comission and any return will come back and buy my tight muscular ass. why wouldn't i tell my client's our policy.

she still seeks her full cash back so i get my manager to sort things out. like a jackass, no questions asked, my manager, gives her her full cash back making me look like a fucking moron. no questions asked, no regard for policy, not giving a shit that we just gave out free money - my manager did this. no balls, no principles, no respect for his workers (i.e. me).

(3) i take my well deserved 1 hr lunch break. i place an order for a veggie burger at the new posh burger place where burgers are 8 canadian bucks on average. i also order a shake - nothing more, nothing less. THEY CAN'T EVEN GET THAT RIGHT. don't ever eat at hero burgers @ sherway gardens in toronto. their service is ass and their burgers are shit. veggie or no veggie. DO NOT EAT THERE. way to lose a good 10 minutes for an effin hamburger, jay.

(4) during a good portion of my break (which started at 10am), i had to cut logs (aka lay some cable aka take a shit). i finally had my chance to. i head to the bay's washrooms because theyre the cleanest and most quiet (sure beats the washroom in the back room right beside my manager's desk...like they wanna hear me dropping bombs and torpedoes. i do my deed but before leaving the stall, the latch gets stuck. i force it and like a dummy, i overexert myself. the latch loosens and i somehow, cut my thumb. this is no small cut..but a giant gaping wound. the top tip of my thumb is laying in that stall; either on the latch or on the ground. i wouldn't know where it is since i had to rush back to the store to our 1st aid kit in order to clean up my tipless thumb. im not bullshitting btw, i have no top portion of my thumb.

(5) we get out of the store late. it's new year's eve. how i overlooked booking today off is beyond me. but yes, i closed the store today...on new year's eve. 'nuff said.

ice cube was nuts...my life is reality. a harsh and painful reality with shitty tipless thumbs.

happy 2006 (in a bit).

well, today is this blog's demise. i'm not gonna do my final entry just yet - i just wanted to squeeze in a final entry before a final entry (due later in the day sometime after work - yes, i somehow got suckered into working on new year's eve. schmuck).

after i take my shit, wash up and tie a windsor knot around my neck, i'm heading off to work. as for plans tonite, i really don't have any plans to tell you the truth. you'd think i'd have some kind of party at a cottage lined up with some skiing or snowboarding, but that's just not the case. you might also think i'd be heading downtown or to my local city hall and enjoy the festivities there, but that's just not etched in stone either. finally, you might assume that i'd head out with my parents tonite to my aunt's house with the dad's half of the clan - but that doesn't sound right to me either. truth be told, this year, i'd probably have a really good new year's eve bash spent at home, watching t.v. until i fall asleep (probably around 10 or 11). i'm tired...these nites of going out over the past week in conjunction with working stupid hours in a retail setting during boxing week can really tax your system.

2005 you've been "fair".
God, you've been too generous giving me 23 years and beyond.

closing remarks to come after work...for now, that shit + washing up + windsor knot is calling me.

i effin' love my readers!

it's a trend that things come to an end right before a new year begins. everyone wants a fresh start and clean slate for january. a lot of the time, making room for this clean slate means hacking away at the old (and what used to be essential). this applies not only to this blog, but to system soundbar.

around here, in toronto, system soundbar for 7 years strong, has been a niteclub solely dedicated to underground music including techno, house, drum n bass and hip hop. at one point, i think i went to a rave with some friends there too. sadly, the club is having its final closing down party tomorrow nite and when i say "party"...this isn't just a new year's party that counts down and ends at roughly 3..this one is a true "party" in old (rave/warehouse party) form scheduled to finish into the early morning hours of the 1st of the month.

i think it all blows...but as i've said before, all good things come to an end. that place had quite the following.

what are we doing for new year's anyhow? we should hit a rave. i kind of miss those rich, spoiled kids from hong kong all messed up with their pacifiers and their eyes rolled back in their skulls (believe it or not). it's been a while and we're 23 but hey..why not? there's an idea. but we'll probably end up at city hall or home. watch.

boxing day was fun.
believe that or not.

work, then dinner with coworkers then pool. the day before, it was Christmas here with the clan, the day before the day before was dinner at the relatives, the night prior was a new tradition - 'the annual Christmas eve boys night out' (beware), the nite prior to that was a shopping fest all over (and i mean ALL over toronto - uptown, downtown and underground) and dinner with grace, james and rj and the nite before that, well i can hardly remember. all i know is - i go back to school on the 4th and this break is going by too fast. way too fast.

(wo)man...is my blog really closing down soon?
shoot.

my lumpia shanghais and pineapple glazed ham leftovers call me.
i hope everyone's well fed and well slept. enjoy these last days, boogers.

boxing days are bullshit. i haven't been boxing day shopping in 2 years now but i dont think im missing anything special. last year i was on the other side of boxing day's frenzy - i was on the selling, not shopping, side. this year it's the same thing.

my personal commentary on boxing day here in canada - there are no really good sales. and if you can find something really good, they either won't have your size, won't have the model your looking for, have an item that your interested in not be on sale or have a store that's just too damn packed with waiting lines that span from here to eastern europe. do yourselves a favour, stay home.

i, myself, will do boxing week shopping after payday (thursday) - which by that time, there will be no sales let alone anything left.

santa was good to me this year - but jesus is better.

p.s.
i had ham and turkey...that turkey made me sleep like a little bitch. wow.

i haven't updated in days - but that just shows that i've been busy like a beaver. from shopping to working to lack of sleeping to just hanging out with my friends, these past few days have been golden. family dinner at my crib tonight so i gotta get the house ready and help with the cooking. but before that, i head for morning mass. we'll talk again shortly - after all, this blog's days are numbered.

joyeux noel.

jay

in the morning after i wake up, i thank God for a new day. we discuss life, politics and sometimes sports. i make my bed and do my push ups - probably three sets of at least thirty. i then wash up and take my morning washroom break because if not now, then later somewhere out there in the "public washroom" world. if it's a school day, i head over to the bus stop where i wait in the freezing cold for a good ten minutes. if i'm lucky, i'll get a seat and not have to stand for the 40 minute ride between mississauga and york university. i go to class. i clown with the boys here and there but not enough to lose focus on my professor. if with the girls, then i pass time with some flirting and banter - it goes back and forth as reciprocity. i grab a falafel or shawarma in the mall on my campus. all over the place there are pretty girls - some locking eyes with me for a moment and some just straight bougie. i hold my breath as i walk by the smokers. i hit the library or computer lab and do some studying. later that day, i might hit the gym before i head back to the bus stop; homeward bound.

before and after meals i have two glasses of water. it's like clockwork. if i'm off, i'll make breakfast for the fam and even dinner later that night. otherwise, there's just no energy in my batteries.

after breakfast, if im going to work, i make my lunch in the morning - either a tuppaware of cereal or a sandwich and a piece of fruit will suffice. i go to work until my break, put on my "friendly" clothing salesman hat and sell like my life depended on it (with my brand of fun of course). i have my lunch, i head up to the food court of the rich mall with my plastic "food basics" bag of lunch. whether it's last night's filipino leftovers or this morning's cereal that was packed, i eat with pride. people stare and i rudely stare back smacking my lips as i chew (this is not true actually, my table manners are flawless). i grab a cup of water from one of the shops in the foodcourt because bottled water is so overrated. i walk off the rest of my break and put on my "friendly" clothing salesman hat until we close.

heading home from school, i plug my md's earplugs into my head as i get off the bus. at this point, im either catching a municipal transit back home, walking back home or unwinding by strolling through the mall. if it's choice "mall" then i head down the stairs toward the mall's entrance. escalators and elevators are so overrated. i venture through all my favourite stores looking for just the right item to add to my collection - whether they be the right pair of sneakers or new coat. i head home finally and catch dinner with the family. if it's bus back home i have to wait a while. the kids in the bus terminal are so thugged out or at least wish they were. i dare not stare even these kids in the eye - the murder rate at this relatively safe suburban mall has gone up over the past 4 years and frankly, my life is too precious to be lost.

once i get home from work, i kiss my mom hello give my dad props "hi" and head to my room. i change my all-black attire and put on some colors. sometimes wearing the all stylish monochromatic black get up can really take its toll on your mental health. i put on my jogging pants or board shorts and an old tshirt. i head downstairs towards the smell of the kitchen. my brother gets home from the office - i greet him "wsup" and walk the dog. we eat the finest of mom's cooking then watch some news or seinfeld. that goes on for about an hour or two then i retire to my room to surf the net.

it's about 1 or 2 am and i decide to call it a day. i wash up, floss and brush. i thank God and ask him to bless my family, friends and the world. i thank Him for the day and ask him to bless those who have passed on. no matter how hot it may be, i need my blanket when i sleep - it's all very childish. i crash almost in a coma-like state and the routine repeats tomorrow.

fortunately, i was able to get last minute listens in to 2 important albums that were able to capture spots on my list.
here are my 5 for 2005 (you better recognize):
1. be - common
2. city lights vol. 1.5 - nicolay
3. dynamite - jamiroquai
4. triple p - platinum pied pipers
5. the minstrel show - little brother

"soul" according to wikipedia is " a combination of rhythm and blues and gospel which began in the late 1950s in the United States. Rhythm and blues (a term coined by music writer and record producer Jerry Wexler) is itself a combination of blues and jazz, and arose in the 1940s as small groups, often playing saxophones, built upon the blues tradition. Soul music is differentiated by its use of gospel-music devices, its greater emphasis on vocalists, and its merging of religious and secular themes."



the above albums are soul to me. not because they have a sax or because they have some sort of gospel element to them but instead, because they put their soul into their music. it's just something you can feel and that factor is something i find extremely lacking in about 90% of the music out there today. i can connect with these songs because theyre butter. download them if you will, but buy instead - because these are worth it.

i come from a time when music was art.

as quarterback of the san francisco 49ers, joe montana was the shit. he made the plays and sometimes, he even ran the field himself. he utilized the 'hook' play i'm sure. pat riley used to coach the lakers back in the day. like a mastermind, he, too, decided how to approach the game, how to read his opponent and how to move the ball up and down the court effectively; this was often done via zone or man-to-man defence with a 'pick' and 'back door cut'. both of the men mentioned here are heroes and are highly acclaimed legends in their own right.

when it comes to shopping for Christmas gifts, so am i. i'm a true legend. today was a historical battle between man and mall. i went in today alone. i had my list in my head - roughly 7 people; my brother, my sister in law, my niece and nephew, my parents and my other brother. i came out with 6/7 gifts. it was ugly in there but i did my thing and bought my goods. although sore and mentally exhausted, i came out alive. i have a mexx bag, a club monaco bag, an old navy bag and a wal mart bag. i'm not done yet. the battle shall commence on thursday where i wage war on downtown toronto and it's army of sales associates plus radical splinter groups of shoppers.

malls blow. as men, we hate malls. we'd rather have our shorts on fire or shave with an old rusty tin can lid. this is why fathers, brothers and husbands all over the world go into malls with gameplans and strategies. we go in, get what we need and get the hell out of there. i've mentioned this before but i cant overemphasize how real and true this is. the mall is just too overwhelming for us - we'd really much more prefer a more tranquil environment like home depot, canadian tire or best buy. these are environments where we reign supreme. these are holy and sacred places we want to spend our whole day in.

Merry Christmas.

i've heard this question posed before: you have to make a soundtrack for your life. it should include a song for opening credits; a falling in love scene; the gratuitous sex scene; break up scene; the tragic event/ mental breakdown scene; party scene; end credits - what will you choose?

opening credits: kool and the gang - "summer madness"
falling in love: stevie wonder - "ribbon in the sky"
gratuitous sex scene: d'angelo - "untitled (how does it feel?)
break up scene: lauryn hill - "the sweetest thing"
tragic event/mental breakdown: james taylor - "fire and rain"
party scene: jamiroquai - "alright"
end credits: bob james - "angela" (theme from taxi)



...and you?

why would i say it when he can say it better?

i've been meaning to write about how great using a mac is but my time is money. besides, colin puts it better than i ever could. and what the heck is ??? all i know is dashboard and spotlight. i have yet to use 'automater'. man, im so "lay" as in laymen.

___________

merry Christmas e'erbodeh!
last nite, my peoples and i had our annual Christmas dinner and kris kringle gift exchange. it was a nice change to have it at aaron's crib this year rather than going to our usual buffet/eating fest/barfarama. it was potluck and it was delicious.

i'm not gonna redocument the whole thing. pictures to be posted soon.
thanks to mary anne/colin's ol' lady for getting me my gift - pete rock lost and found.



good choice colin..i mean mary anne. how'd you know i wanted that???? who told you?


[taken from a mass email wishlist to all 'secret santa' friends]

i wasn't too obvious, was i?

i should really start my shopping tomorrow.

1. "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

2. "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

3. "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

4. "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

5. "Never regard your study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs."

6. "The most precious things in life are note those one gets for money."

7. "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

8. "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

9. "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

10. "Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."

not really..it's for everyone. after getting restless due to all of this studying (yes, i still study..even if it's an open book exam), i felt the need to be leisure, grab a glass of juice and watch some music videos. online, of course.

to you, this statement may sound irrelevant. but to me, watching videos takes effort. in my house, we only have basic cable. that means i only recieve a mere 29 channels or so - none of which include music video programming.

you should therefore understand that when jay watches a video, that/those video(s) are the end result of some shit that took a long time + effort to look around for. enough blabber..enjoy.

(1) jamiroquai - seven days in sunny june
(2) pharrell feat. gwen stefani - can i have it like that
(3) jamiroquai - (don't) give hate a chance
(4) kanye west feat. adam levine of maroon 5 - heard 'em say

[footnotes] #1 has been my favourite song since i we went to the concert a couple months ago plus jay kay is wearing my shirt! i have that shirt; #2 nothing to say. aside from the video, i think pharrell does copious amounts of coke. just a hunch. no slander intended; #3 is another one from jay kay and the boys...reminiscent of that old french cartoon they used to air here on canadian t.v...the line with the guy...anyone remember?; #4 is a cool one i think you all will like. brings me back to the concert too. super nice. but why are ye and adam just standing there? together? that's kind of odd. i dunno.

(5) **bonus as usual because youre all good boys and girls - arnie: carnival in rio. i won't say more. youre just gonna have to watch it. and no.....it's not porn, so relax.

welcome to the wonderful world of the internet.

i knew i had something in common with the brazillian men.

"keep keepin' on; i guess knowing that i'm weak is when i'm really being strong."
- com

no time to post rite now....in the mean time, i'd like to do a throwback of gotmilkfart. i've had this as a back up draft saved for a week or so now. take it like one of those episodes of a sitcom where they look back for whatever reason (e.g. the writers got lazy....someone left the show..it's a holiday from taping etc.). at this point, the screen is getting really foggy with blurred edges. enjoy.


::: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
you might've had yours; you might've not -- but these are my favourite 10 entries of gotmilkfart over the past 4 years.
in chronological order (oldest to most recent):
1) the fuck you edition
i was really mad at one point wasn't i? maybe i still am here and there but this is just 100% pure whole wheat hatred; plain and simple.
whatta hater!

2) at that age
way too melodramatic now that i look back at it.
but i never regret my past thoughts. see, jay has feelings too. im sentient.

3) here's a scenario
some filipinos are just idiots - more than a rare few actually.

4) 20 pairs of underwears
this has happened to everyone at one point or another. don't front y'all.

5) point farms '04: the lowdown
one of the best camping weekends ever. it's like pure buttah baby. this is canadian life to it's fullest.
this is asian assimilation in canada with a twist to its fullest.

6) super-virginia
another great weekend with my peeps - american and canadian.

7) riding my tip
people say the tax is standard rule of thumb...not in all cases.

8) making a big scene
oh diss. she got told.
again...whatta hater!!

9) dr phil VS me and the boys
just straight clownin' as usual.

10) throwback: grilled cheese, please
this is too fresh for me to even have to mention. i've created so many recipes since then, i should note.

before i go to write this final for health promo, i thought i'd share this excerpt from a pdf included in my prof's notes. note, this is from a major governing body that researches issues in physical activity. i won't name names of what organization or journal it's from; i just found it funny. kind of reminds of of that chappelle skit from season one where the girl wished she didnt have big breasts (aka "fun bags", "sweater puppets", "knockers" etc.) that's wrong. we, as guys, can be so wrong sometimes. why am i regretful though? i don't even like big breasts...i'm more of a leg and ass man myself. so you won't have to worry about me running with you trying to watch your big bosoms a'bouncing. rather, i'll be behind you enjoying the view.

i'm kidding!!!!!! geez. hold your lawsuit horses.

(bring the pain!!!!!! arghhhh!)

when i study, i usually don't resort to earplugs. however, today is the one rare occasion i've chosen to. in an attempt to block out every sound around my house and those resonating through its drywalls, the plugs have failed me. thanks to my morning cup of coffee, regardless of the make or industrial strength (do they even vary in strengths?) of these earplugs, i can still hear my heart thumping inside of my cranium. sorta like one of those african tribal drums.

ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom ba-boom

who writes exams on sundays, anyhow? really. i was gonna say the jewish people who run my school don't care about sabbath days dedicated to church..then i realized quickly that their sabbath is sunday too. i was gonna back up that argument further till i realized they worship on saturdays; another day when exams are written at my school. ma bad.

they say today is the busiest shopping weekend of the year. good thing i booked off! suckas.

that was a ten minute break.

around this time, it never fails to occur that my mom starts pressuring my dad to do some sort of home improvement. 4 years back it was the tiling in the main hallway and main floor washroom; last year it was to re-set the interlocking between the driveway to our front porch; the rest of the years it was something or another; while this year it's hardwood flooring in the living room and family/t.v. room of my crib. in most or all cases, me and/or my brother help out - which we don't really mind as long as we're asked for our assistance at least 24 hrs in advance.

i don't wanna side with either of my parents on this matter because really, it's both of their fault. my dad keeps on putting these duties off until the end of the year while my mom tends to nag request my dad's home improvement services to the extreme until he gets sick of hearing it and loses his 'mood' to - only to never do it. finally, it comes down to the last month of the year when we have our sets of family parties and when my mom feels that all work should be completed before the new year -- a sort of superstition of some kind.

that's rough. home improvements and renovations are my dad's life - but there's a major difference between meeting a deadline to get paid and meeting a deadline because you really have no choice to.

in closing, a toast to my dad for all his efforts all these years and to my mom a toast to her persistence and tough skin.

ah, the good ol' holiday spirit.

now..back to studying; and later, moving furniture and eventually - laying down some hardwood flooring.

love, peace and chicken grease

the cheetah gracefully waits for his prey; cool and collected. unknowingly, the gazelle trots onto the field.

at the right moment, he makes his move.

the chase is on.

the cheetah sprints like smooth silk blowing in the wind. with his vice-like jaw, he gradually collapses the neck of the fragile mammal - slowly...until lifeless.

i'm a cheetah.

others are monkeys before an exam; whether in the hallway or in class. these types repeatedly ask questions to eachother. they squeal, they move constantly; they jump their asses around just to get a bite of whatever their ugly ass hands can grasp.

with precision and finesse, that's one exam down.

like my friends who have graduated assure me, i'm just taking in and relishing these last days of my life as an undergrad.
like always in a post-exam state, the air is crisper, my vision - clearer and my stride more......."springy"?

_____________

in summary: a brief explanation...
...because i owe you one.

[gotmilkfart?] is indeed closing down.
the site will stay up as an archive for me and you to look back on, laugh, cry and reminisce.

i said it's closing; i never said i would leave the blogsphere on my rocket only to live some kind of hermit lifestyle on another planet in our galaxy.

this blog has been my outlet for much of my life as a university student during these past 4 years. gotmilkfart is my vehical of thought. it carried me on it's back when asianavenue died. like all things however, this blog has to come to an end. a new year is coming and new times and all that jargon. don't dwell though - the future holds a lot of potential and opportunity for me to write. i can't say when -- whether instantaneously, once i close, or months or years after i complete this final leg of school, but i will be up and writing again.

the next blog will be my final blog. probably my life's blog..you'll read about things such as completing my degree...getting another degree...travelling...starting my career....marrying my wife...having some kids..enjoying a happy and healthy life with the fam...and finally, retiring (because surely, i won't have time to post once i retire; it's all about the cruises with wifey, listening to old jazz records and video games *ahem* i mean reading, of course)..plus a whole bunch of pointless musings sprinkled here and there (ok, maybe not "sprinkled" more like poured as the main ingredient).

keep your eyes peeled.

for now..enjoy the last of gotmilkfart updates updates because i will update as long as you read and as long as i can type.

jay "milkfart"
xoxo8===Dxoxo