jay likes some girls for their brains.
jay likes some girls for their asses.
jay likes some girls for their wit.
jay likes some girls for their smile.
jay likes some girls for their faith.
jay likes some girls for their shoes....

one more thing that i should add to this infinite list is the way a girl can argue, or just oppose me.

i hate it so much, i think i almost love it. i think you can argue with someone and it can get so heated that through all the hatred, deep down inside, there's some kind of sick, demented attraction.

my wife shall be a master in arguing.
not because im stubborn; not because it's all i've grown up to know between a man and a women; but probably because after every argument i'll look forward to making up.

just yet.

anyhow, dont you just hate it when people brag about who or what they are?
for instance, say i said...

well im a kinesiologist and...

from there i would talk about something like physiology or proper biomechanics...shoot, even nutrition might enter the conversation, or probably anatomy. well, that aint me. that might be others...who think they are "king shit"...that might be physics majors, that might be politicians that might even be clergymen...but that aint me. if you want information, ask me. i dont know what that little 40 second waste of your reading meant but in this case...id like to say, i just read an entry from onigiriman found here. all i gotta say about that is

well im a kinesiologist and...
well...i thought that was personally fucking hilarious.

let me guess onigirman, it's arnold's encyclopedia for modern bodybuilding isn't it? please tell me it's the old skool yellow version and not the silver and black revision (i have the old skool version too). ya see, the old skool version touches on and advocates, to an extent, steroid use. very unorthodox by today's standards -- especially from gov. arnie himself. check out onigiriman (see link on right)if yall have the time. great reads.

stay tuned..i will update and fill you in on last week's glorious festivities.
im lazy.
sue me, bitches.

if it's even feasible, camping this past weekend topped last year's campstravaganza!
werd.

a camping we will go
a camping we will go
hi ho the dary-oh
a camping we will go



it's a canadian thing.

i've worked two retail jobs in my whole life. this current one at mexx and my last one a few years back at old navy. you can't even compare the two really. sure the two are different in income between non-commission vs commission but i'm talking clientele. here, currently, i have the older crowd -- im talkin' young professionals to straight up milfs and all in between (mostly europeans who like wearing weird shit - a la "manpris" and "murses"; masculine versions of their female counterparts).

the topic of interest today however, does not concern mere dollars and cents. the topic today kids, is flirting. im not even gonna get into sexual tensions between co-workers. we're gonna talk shoppers here. in the beginning, i admit, i used to flirt a lot with the customers - and why not?...we do have some nice looking females coming in. on several occassions, my co-workers jokingly ratted me out by expressing aloud to "stop flirting with the customers, jay!!". the end result of this are red-faced & red-neck/chested, smiling females -- who in the end usually do end up purchasing something from me - and who do end up coming back. but since i started roughly 10 months ago, my motivation to flirt with the customers has died down...at least voluntarily.

i still dont understand how me saying a simple "hi" is still able to get smirks and head-shakes not only from my co-workers but my managers just the same.

im not even doing anything, and yet im doing something.
i can't understand it. im not offended by the accusations of my state of sexuality or lack thereof, but shoot, why's everyone getting mad? i mean if it sells..then like my man malcolm x said, by any means necessary, right?


"by any means necessary, my brotha."

i gotta stress, im not even trying. today even, there was this italian girl, about my age with her girlfriend. i just happened to help them out because im obliged to. if i see you looking for new gear, i'm gonna go help you, not because i plan on bedding you, but because that's what im there to do. honestly. besides, it makes my shift go by faster. sure when you try on that top and that skirt i am giving you my opinion - not as a male...but as a consultant. yes, i do have a penis but you must believe me, when i give you my criticism, the wiring from my eyes, believe it or not, are for that moment temporarily disconnected from my penis; or at least i try to tell myself so. and you know what else??? those girls came on to me today! yes..they were coming on to me. is it my tan? is it my shaved head? is it the heat and humidity? maybe some kinda of energy i give off? charm, maybe? what's a guy to do? im just an innocent guy trying to make an honest dollar here. trying to pay my bills; trying to reserve a seat in school so i can feed my kids in the near future. that's all i am; that's all i'm trying to do. when i ask for your phone number and contacts, it's really for return purposes and corporate policy. sure, id like to call you up sometime and sure you can have my number on our company's business card, but that's against my personal principles. but then i think, that small talk and witty joking and smiling arent really all that necessary. then again, i assure you, she, and they of the past, provoke it all. im dead serious.

and dont even get me started about the sidewalk sale last week. i was manning the table in the mall's hallway and this desperate housewife touches my penis gland!

wow.

yes, you read that right, she came downward in a sweeping motion to touch a sweater on the table.

but did she really?

i was in a gasping shock when she brushed my johnson. my instant reaction to this surge of electricity that jolted through my loins up to my vocal chords was a quick "oh!". all she could say was sorry.

see what i go through?

i sell clothes, not sex.



[is that your love canal or a bull's nose?]

for one instant, let's say i was a female sales associate and some dude slips on a banana peel and inserts his finger into my love canal? then what? that's 5 years no probabtion, buddy. that's a misdemeanor! in my case though...i thought that was kinda cool. that doesn't make me some kinda perv, does it?



okay, maybe i am. but hey, she touched my frankfurter, i didnt pull it out and slap her in the forehead with it.

i'm just an innocent guy trying to make an honest dollar here...and i'm doing o.k.

so this was the first weekend, in awhile that i've had off...which i technically didnt get off (by schedule), but rather booked off. it's been purely R & R for me. nothing but hanging out with the crew here and there. although today, as usual, is designated family day on top of being the sabbath. every time i hear sunday referred to as "the sabbath" i have this sick urge to rephrase it and say "thy sabbath". where that stems from, who knows..and who cares? anyhow i went to church this morning -- although i at times proclaim myself as a church-going man, the catholic church wouldnt be proud of me for my lack of attendance for the past few weeks. work shouldn't be an excuse..but it is. however, that still doesnt excuse me from reaching a weekly mass during the weekdays. where are my priorites??! or as dr. phil would say "what are you thinking, you sacrilegious brown bastard?!!"


"how about you, young lady?...can you tell me
what the fuck is jason thinking???!!!!!"

okay, he didnt say that, but if i were him, id say that to me. church was very refreshing today. although im not currently in an academic session of school as it's a summer break, i still try and take the time to self-direct myself in learning something -- whether it be some thai boxing, stability ball training techniques or just polishing up on some cooking recipes. when it comes to church though, i gotta say it's nice to have a formal lesson (if you can call it that). yea, that's about right. that's how i treat church. other than praise and worship there are some pretty good lessons the priest talks about during his sermon. i dont wanna start preaching myself, but yall need to check out my parish sometime if youre in the area.

besides all of that, the night ended really good as my family and i headed west over to hamilton for this fancy surprise birthday party for my aunt in this italian banquet hall. pictures will be posted soon as they,and a whole bunch of other pictures i've never printed will also. that's all for now, there were a few things i wanted to say about family and church, but i guess that all dissipated during the ride home.

man, you gotta love those warm summer breezes coming thru the car windows.

i had a burrito today. it consisted of beans, rice, and beef - not to mention some guacamole, onion & hot sauce.
it was fucking delicious.

see, i swore, so you know it's the truth.

as for now, my butthole, and toilet just the same, shall feel the wrath of this delicious mexican treat.

man it's boiling out there.

[last year: solstice III & me]
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slowly but surely, my excitement for camping next weekend is building up. i think one reason that most of us havent really been worked up as of late is probably because of everyone being busy doing their own thing.

sad as it may seem i had to get inspired by reality television. after watching brat camp tonite, i started to envision my friends and myself out there in the bush (not to be confused with "in some bush"), just hanging around the campfire, eating, sleeping, drinking, eating, pooing and more drinking. sure it sounds very juvenile but if that's the case for us at 23 years old, then so be it - it's fun. hopefully, we can go camping again in august.

now a few words about my solstice III. it's a mc kinley tent. it has a wind shield over it and tarp as a floor. there are several vent systems and easy to use doors. it's a 3 person tent..blah blah blah..but the best part is, i got it for a mere 30 some odd dollars. if you dont understand the hype behind this then i'll enlighten you...my tent is worth at least $80 CAN - which exchanges to something like 50 cents USD. i can hardly wait to use my baby again. my solstice III.

no barfing in my tent. no love stains in my tent. 2 simple rules.
see you soon solstice. which reminds me..at this rate and with this july climate, it's gonna be hot as hell next weekend. whoa.

p.s. those kids at brat camp are effin' a-holes. their parents wouldve saved a ton of dough if they just belted them or smacked them on the inner forearm with a slipper or bambroom (asian bamboo broom). looked how i turned out..just fine.

you know what sucks?
when someone turns off the air conditioner in your house just because it's the evening. it sucks even more that you cant sleep all because of this. and on top of that, it sucks that the only means of falling asleep at this hour that you can think of is going on limewire and downloading some new music. it's nearly 4am, man...people start getting up soon for work.


heat waves suck. water restrictions by your city suck even more.
is this africa or canada?

in mine, it's currently a battle for jay headphone space between a medley of wu tang clan, early 90's new york hip hop, the california bay area hip hop scene and a gang of instrumentals -- spanning from progressive rock of the 70s to funk to some serious downtempo jazz (where my horns at?).

if ya'll were wondering, there are a couple wu tang clan compilations out there, but they just didnt get my juices flowing (juices flowing = my latest catch-phrase). what does a man with no juices flowing do, you might ask? well i made my own compilation of course. my very own wu tang clan compilation..burned..and complete with my own hand-drawn wu tang logo right on my pirated cd.
this is a rare special edition, folks.
it's never easy narrowing down your favourite sounds to a mere 80min cd.
enjoy.

times is rough and tough like leather~!

c.r.e.a.m. - wu tang clan

liquid swords - gza/genius

motherless child - ghostface killer

milk this cow - cappadonna

da mystery of chessboxin' - wu tang clan

criminology - raekwon

cold world - genius/gza

daytona 500

bring the pain - method man

brooklyn zoo - ol' dirty bastard

slang editorial - cappadonna

incarcerated scarfaces - raekwon

shimmy shimmy ya' - ol' dirty bastard

ice cream - raekwon

wu wear - wu tang clan

gravel pit - wu tang clan

it's yourz - wu tang clan

triumph - wu tang clan



ahh yesssss.
very few things are as nostalgic as listening to those crazy kids from statin island.
listening to triumph on your way home from work is the way to go. and don't refrain from snapping your neck back and forth while listening to this. and hey, who cares if other snotty people in their fancy cars are around watching?...you recite those lyrics!..and i mean right now, dammit!

as i type this, i am brought back to that whole grade 9 & 10 era when tommy hilfiger & helly hansen sailing jackets were in. you would rock those, with some clark's wallabies or grant hill filas (you know what im talkin' about, the kind that method man wore in the "all i need" video as he jumped off the roof). if it was summer, you'd be wise to rock the shorts with nike cortez kicks and a striped polo golf short. you feeling me yet? you know this man!

shaolin, where you at?!!!

_________

speaking of hip hop...
(and i promise you, this whole 'ghetto talk' stuff will end shortly) the mos def concert was off the chain (or off the hook, if you prefer that)!

the mos def concert that i was building up a week or two ago, was the ish in other words, that's ghetto talk for it being 'the shit'. his opening act was his old group medina green (brooklyn stand up) which was ok...really, mediocre at best. but i guess the crowd couldnt get into them. this is true not because theyre wack, but because theyre unknown. it's hard to rock a show for a crowd that doesnt know your lyrics, let alone one that doesn't even know your name. so after they rocked the stage for a good hour with various songs that most people, i, included, havent heard of, there was an hour intermission.

during this hour, rj and i cracked jokes...took our respective leaks and gawked at the beautiful honey babies in the crowd.

a word or two about the crowd at the mos def concert: this is my kinda hip hop crowd! it was basically my peoples cloned. where do all these people hang out? do they ask that same question as me?

you had all kinds of people warming those seats with their asses. no, it wasn't just black folks..and no it wasn't just white folk. yes there were a handful of east asians (how dare you ask that i degrade you and use the word "orientals"..i will not have it!), east indians, old & young alike..but mostly old. when i say old, i mean my age, but mainly 25 and up (and y'all thought hip hop can't grow up. dont give me that!). this crowd is my kinda crowd because one, theyre not rowdy, two, they can really appreciate good music, and three theyre all so fucking hip..in the most hip hop sorta way. there was no simple doo-rag & throw back jersey with matching two-tone nike air force one looks here. at this show, im talking girls in camouflage baby tees with thick frames; im talking dudes with blazers and beads; im talking paperboy caps and pumas; and im definitely talking rare old skool adidas track jackets and stilletos. it was a cornucopia of sights, sounds, and intellect.



as for the atmosphere: we were at toronto's harbourfront, stage side, 3 rows from the front, open air and stars above. there was a cool, calming breeze coming off lake ontario, ice cold beers, and the delicious tastes and smells coming from the international cafe that was serving up food for the crowd. i tell you, if youre ever in the toronto area, and you can catch a show at harbourfront during the summer, DO IT! 'nuff said.

common at kool haus on july 26th
who's down?


[i listen to hip hop and you think im trying to be black. you listen to rock...am i supposed to think you wanna be white? cut that polarized thinking crap out. the last time i checked there were no filipinos on the radio or in mainstream media playing their gongs and bamboo reeds, let alone some japanese guy playing a gong nor some chinese chick playing a chinese harp]

"when i say chinese, you say harp...chinese! (harp!) chinese (harp!)"

________

speaking of asian-"ness"...
im currently planning my trip for next year after i graduate.
if all goes well *fingers crossed & bills paid*, im going on "the trip of my life".

i recently emailed colin & his ol'lady about what their plans were for next year after they graduated. sure enough, as i recalled, theyre heading to the philippines for what she calls "the trip of her life".

i've been thinking about that and hey, this has been mentioned to myself in my head for the last 2 to 3 years. although philippines deserves her very own vaction, i will not call next year's trip of my life the "philippines trip of my life". rather, my targets will be a large chunk of the rest of south east asia (central asia, even).

considering this will be more of a backpacking adventure for myself and 1 or 2 of my friends max, im trying to pinpoint where i wanna start. one place is thailand. now should i start in india and head towards thailand?...or should i scrap india, start in thailand and head east?






probably the latter, but i'd really like to fit india in there somehow. if so, that would mean a route consisting of something along the lines of india to bangladesh to burma to thailand. maybe im just too ambitious.

for now, my four adjectives are:
thailand, cambodia and vietnam [possibly malaysia (that's a faint possibility)].
but wait..that's only 3, isnt it?

oh that's right...going back to colin and mary anne, since im in the neighbourhood, i might as well rendezvous with them somewhere right? oh yea, and jp mentioned that he might be in the philippines next summer too...that only leaves one final conclusion; one final piece to the puzzle..im talkin grand finale rendezvous with my friends on the beach in boracay in the motherland - the philippines.

sadly, if that falls through, that'll only be for a day or two..a week at most.
one day, and hold me to this, i will backpack the motherland. this final pinpoint on my planned journey next year is strictly to finish off my trip and just party.

as for east asia, dont think i forgot you.
if this goes well, i got you in my sights in the future. china, korea and japan. but that's after south america but before europe. for now, that's just a dream.

where's my thai, khmer and viet peoples at?
no, i dont plan on staying in those posh hotels, it's all about the hostels. and no, im not just gonna chill in the tourist-ridden cities...the villages and countryside are targets too.

with a student's budget, 2 months, 1 or 2 close friends, and an open mind, any suggestions?


[soon, baby, soon]
__________

speaking of terror...
actually, nobody was talking about terror. anyhow, around here, ontario was part of the live 8 concert, karla homolka was released last week, and over there across the atlantic, the uk had terrorists strike their transportation system. i havent had a chill run through my body while watching the news since i watched the 9-11 attacks during freshmen year. it's all fucked up but we just gotta live. keep on keepin' on as i always say.

dare i mention that this happened in broad daylight, at the mall where i worked at, during a big sidewalk sale. thank God i was off..cause if those theives came my way brandishing guns, well we all know i'd do the honourable thing and run away like a big ol' sissy. that or either get into the fetal position while crying under a big protective pile of clothes.

you can't let them win by allowing them to dictate your life.
if we all thought like that, g.i. joe would never be able to defeat cobra - the ruthless terrorist organization bent of ruling the world.



it makes me wonder, do these terrorists just sit around their dinner table, living room or in the jacuzzi just scheming up shit to happen?

they need to go get laid...a nice warm bowl of chicken noodle soup...playstation 2 or something!


_________

speaking of...???...
camping is in a few days, yall!!!

read about last summer's camping here...

...and here...

...and here.

bounce.

it's yourz!

[it's like i have OCD -- damn monkeys are coming!]
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i've been meaning to jot down a lot lately. which sucks, b/c you lose out. im serious..and i'll say it again, ive been meaning to write a lot lately.

there's really not enough hours in a day.

keep your eyes peeled..this was just a premature ejaculation of thought. the real climax is on its way, folks.

i really gotta stop being vulgar on here. i have a rep to uphold.

[pointless stegosaurus image]

my favourite dinosaur by far..what's yours?

"now...with more gas"
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because it's been awhile since we've last spoke, my dear blogging audience.

random thoughts on sexuality

food doesn't make you fat, the pill makes you fat
- pretty self-explanatory

"i might be drunk now, but in the morning, i'll be sober and you'll still be ugly."
- again, self-explanatory

the male locker room & gym culture is very homoeroticized
- men talking to men about their bodies; often complimenting them and poking and probing them. beef thermometers. men walking around naked; men naked with their leg up on a stool conversing about everything from politics to family life. tell me this is not weird. try and convince me, someone, please.

b.o. does not attract the opposite sex here in the americas
- it might work in other places but not here. gyms must absolutely be well ventilated. my gym smells like a sack of assholes. yes, i said a great big burlap sack of assholes. burlap because santa claus uses burlap for his deliveries. burlap because we wouldn't want that precious fecal, pungent aroma to escape. it's all about the concentration gradients.

you must wear heels when we have sex
- again, you must wear heels when we have sex. yes i give a shit about ergonomics and proper gait and posture...but i still like a good woman's shoe when i see it.

and i says to her, "lady, that ain't no banana!"
a famous line of mine from rj's indie film "fingers".

it's all perverted really.




don't rub your eyes..i did say beef thermometers.