first, one must start his or her day off underslept and with chills all over. next, try to think about what you'll be needing for that long day at school - this may include important things like your buspass - a definite must-have for anyone, first, trying to get to school in order to be in school, some clean clothes for during and after swim class, and of course, your notes and textbooks - for which you plan on reading during your break. also, you may or may not want to pack some extra change so you can buy some grub when that whole blood sugar thing starts dipping beyond your physiological control. next, head downstairs and think whether or not you'd like to eat some breakfast - you know breakfast is the most important meal to eat, but before a swim class, we must consider whether or not that whole big bacon and eggs thing with a bagel or a platter of morning fried rice will really help you out. eventually, you decide, due to time constraints and bus arrival times, that you'd be better off eating after that class, so you go upstairs and hop into the shower instead. hoping that the cold water will wake you up via shocking all the nerve endings along every micrometer of your body, you realize that "hey, this cold water just might be making my possible cold or flu a lot worse". with that, you get out, do what you gotta do, freshen up and begin on your journey to the bus stop. mind you, it's roughly 7:45am at this point..however, you don't breathe one breath of fresh air from outside before you pillage your medicine cabinets and kitchen cupboards for some acetametophin - that's tylenol in laymen's terms (but could also be advil or even aspirin, just the same). so you look, and look..and look. nothing. you ask your parents in desperation where the one possible bottle of pills that may be your solution to such a crumby start of a day, might be. their answer, independent of one another, "if there's none there, then how would i know where it is?"(answering a question with a question never helps anyone or anything, im sure you all know). further, this may or may not be coupled with the common, "maybe your brother took it. ask him". then through your instantaneous super-fast reasoning and logic, you understand and say to yourself, "how the hell am i supposed to ask him where the bottle of pills are, if he's already left the house and is probably on the road, in traffic?". possibly, just possibly that's something you'd say to yourself. with that, you get your butt to the bus stop and try and catch your usual, 8:15 express. you arrive at the bus depot at 8:08am. figuring you'll have more than enough time to catch the bus, you decide to grab a freshly-brewed black cup of coffee. i mean, sure you didnt eat breakfast and sure the coffee's caffine might really mess up your body's empty-stomached system, but hey, you need that java, dammit and nothing can stop you. it's your magic bullet. so you wait in the line...and wait..and wait. originally, there were only 4 people in the line and as stated earlier, you figured youd only take a minute to get your coffee and hop on the bus. but no, not today, sonny (or sally); someone ahead in the line, specifically the person at the beginning interacting with the teller, doesnt know which pass to buy or where they need to get to. this requires more than usual time, im sure you all can conclude. so you jump out of the line, say "screw the coffee" and make your way to the bus that you see pulling up to the stop. 5m outside of the doors and making your way to the stop, the bus pulls in, picks up roughly 6 people, then pulls out again and leaves. wait a minute, it just left. and more importantly, it just left you in the dust. so you go back, figure you might as well get your coffee...you get your coffee and luckily, you realize that yes, there is indeed another bus that goes to your school - 5 minutes after your usual bus. so you make it on your way towards the stop and BANG! like a bat out of hell, it picks up (this time) 3 passengers and darts the hell outta there (what's the deal with that? is there a new v.i.p. monthly bus pass available?). you thought you were gonna make it, and this time, you almost actually did. i mean you were about 8 metres from the stop this time! so you wait at the stop..and wait..and wait. now it's 8:30am. finally, another bus arrives. you get on it..sip your well-earned coffee and make it to school. yes, your head is still throbbing; no, you weren't luckily enough to bump into a friend who had a travel pack of tylenol and no you weren't lucky enough to find even half a piece of tylenol on the ground. it's ok though, as you make it school with ample time until class in the pool starts. head still throbbing, the instructor says that today, youre all gonna be doing front crawl and back crawl strokes. fair enough. that's what you came there for and that's what you were ready to do. you jump in, do your thing and after awhile, cause of your possible flu/cold you realize your breathing sucks. as this class progresses, you get tired faster than usual and you're beat halfway through the lesson. class ends, you hit the showers and yes, your head still throbs like fred flinstone's toe when he drops a bowling-boulder on it. you head to your first lecture of the day. he show's you these weird russian-scripted overheads about training and sport science that accompany his lesson and you figure out that, no you can't decipher anything they say along with the common and expected - you don't understand a gatdamn thing he's talking about. class ends and you leave. now you have your 3 hour break. your peer asks you to join them and their friend from another university for lunch. willing to go on physically, but not mentally and emotionally, this cracking pain in the centre of your skull makes you mouth to yourself "fuckit. im going home. fuck the lecture at 4pm and fuck lunch with friends. i gotta get outta here". with that, you find yourself at home; on your computer and typing about your day right before you check some email, log off and crash on your boxspring.

and that is the art of the splitting headache.