so i take my afternoon t.v. break from my homework. im in one room flipping thru the channels; my mom is in the other room watching oprah. my break commences and as im walking back upstairs to my rathole, i hear a whole bunch of women cheering wildly.
out of curiosity concerning this wildness and excitement, i ask my mom, "what's happening on oprah?".
"she's getting her ear-pierced; she always wears clip-ons. she's scared", my mom replies.

im still stuck here wondering...who the hell cares?!!
if i had my own show, i'd let a snapping turtle bite my nipple. i personally think that'd cause a riot.

oprah winfrey - one of the most powerful people on the face of this blue and green orb.