do you guys ever wonder why the name "gotmilkfart"? or what is a "milkfart"? i was asked that by a few intriguing folks on asianavenue when i used that moniker. last friday i, myself, was reminded during work.

dairy is hell. cheese is nice to me and so is yogurt. but milk from a cow (straight from the teets or pasteurized) is killer, simple and plain. i get a mild case of lactose intolerance. why? well go read up lactose intolerance for yourself because this ain't no medical journal.

i lack an enzyme (like most asians) that breaks down lactose sugar...and you thought i was mr. perfect. HA (have you even seen how i cut my toenails?).

anyhow, last week, i was hungry before work. we're usually stacked here with food but i wanted some crunch. i wanted cereal. however, there was a dilemma - NO SOY MILK left! the hungry idiot i am didnt hesitate to pour some of that white stuff from the bag (to americans/non-canucks, we get our milk in bags, not jugs). 6 hours later i was reminded of when i used to drink milk during highschool. back in the days, my stomach would be growling like a grizzly. my intestines would squeel like a mother sow!

and the feelings...oh man, the feelings. to imagine the amount of gas i experience from a mere 2 cups of milk, imagine someone stabbing your belly with a bicycle pump needle. then proceed to imagining the pump itself pumping your belly..MORE..MORE...and MORE...and even MORE. pressure builds up but you can't easlily just let one rip because you know it's gonna be amplified to the 'nth' degree; this is especially the case if youre at work and in a retail setting. God knows all the customers would probably run out of the store in terror if i let one go.

but yea...that explains milkfart.
'least it's not diarrhea.

asianboy69 or civic_lover_pinoy905 just didnt stick or make a ripple with me back in the days of AA.

i miss you, aa.